Monday, November 3, 2008

Election Awards

The campaign has been long and in this era of survival of the Barackiest, it’s only normal to hand out awards – and warnings.

Words, Expressions and Characters we need to delete from our collective memory, as of November 4th:


* Gravitas

* Maverick

* Trig

* Piper

* Earmarks

* Mispronounced “nuclear”


* You betcha

* In what sense, Charlie?

* Hockey mom

* That one

* My friends

* Lipstick on a pig

* Paling around

* … and I approve this message

* Drill baby, drill


* Pitbulls with Lipstick

* Token Black people who hung out at the RNC

* Sarah Palin’s imaginary gay friend

* Roland Martin (I think MadTv has openings. Give’em a call)

* Jeremiah Wright

* William Ayers

* Obama’s half-brother in Kenya (Only as a pre-emptive measure. He could become the Roger Clinton/ Billy Carter/Neal Bush/ Joe McCain/ Fredo Corleone of an Obama administration)

* The Bush Doctrine

* Cindy McCain’s pill addiction

* Joe the Plumber

* Joe six-pack

* Joe Lieberman

* Debbie does Dallas (oh wait, wrong list)

* People who think Obama is a Muslim

* People who think being a Muslim is a bad thing

* Chuck Norris

* Victoria Jackson (she’s much more useful in obscurity)

* (you are smart, funny … and naughty)

* Fox News

* Russia’s view, from Alaska

* The People who still think Obama’s success is, although Blacks make up only 13% of the U.S. population, about race

* W. (the man and the thugs in his entourage)

People who, following the Election coverage, deserve a raise or a promotion:

* Obama’s Canadian supporters and operatives

* Oprah (for the early endorsement and for standing up to Palin’s bully publicists)

* Hillary Clinton (who, after taking a step back, got her grace back and became a trooper. Oh, and for putting up with Bill)


* Fareek Zakaria

* Wolf Blitzer

* People who joined the Facebook group “I have more foreign experience than Sarah Palin

* Chris Martin of Coldplay (for the cool Obama shout-out, live on SNL)

* Notable Republicans who endorsed Obama

* Katie Couric (for keeping a straight face while interviewing Sarah Palin)

* The entire team at Huffington Post

* Colin Powell (for his courage, his perfect timing and for sobering up the Republican Party)

* Herbie Hancock (for his subtle and early endorsement at this year’s Grammy awards ceremony)

* Bloggers (Republicans and Democrats) for proving the medium is primordial

* The City of Berlin

* The City of Obama, Japan

* Chris Matthews

* Stephen Colbert & John Stewart

* Time Magazine, GQ, Rolling Stone, Ebony, Paris Match and Vibe for the badass Obama covers.

1 comment:

S. said...

"Fredo Corleone of an Obama administration"... that is hilarious. That one takes the cake. Wish you were in BK jumping and screaming in the streets with us. it was better than New Years and I feel blessed to have been alive to witness this.