Friday, March 26, 2010

My Universal Truths About Relationships.

Relationship expert, Bob Grant, recently published an article entitled “50 Universal Truths about Men”. I thought it was somewhat insightful but mostly cheeky. Clearly, I’m not a relationship expert but I do have Truths of my own. Universal? You be the judge.

Here are some of the Bob Grant’s Universal Truths About Men and my replies. The complete list of Bob’s Truths is here.

6. I need to be told "no" sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive. Fine. But you should also remember that even though I can buy almost all the things I want, I love being spoiled.

7. Please don't ask me how you look unless you're willing to trust my answer. When I tell you to change your shirt, just trust me.

9. When you're happy with me I can't help but want to please you. You’d be surprised to know how simple it is to make me happy.

10. If I don't feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man. If I don’t feel like you can cry on my shoulder, it makes me feel like less of a woman.

11. I expect you to be ready when I pick you up. When I’m late, it’s usually worth it.

13. I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me. I’m scared if I let a man inside my heart, he’ll make me regret it.

14. If you can't stand up to me when I'm a brat, you're too weak for me to open up to when I'm upset. If you can’t stand up to me when I’m a brat, I’ll respect you less.

15. Sitting quietly next to me after you've made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You'll be surprised how quickly I can forgive. Dully noted. Also, if I’ve had the meal catered (or partly catered), it shouldn’t mean less to you. I’m busy & truth be told, the number of things I can perfectly cook/bake is limited.

16. You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I'm considering leaving you. If you’ve done something hurtful, live in fear.

17. I don't read minds. Remember, I'm not a girl. There are things that are obvious. I shouldn’t have to spell them out to you.

18. You may know fashion, but I wish you'd dress to please me, not other women. I dress to please myself and you should trust my choices. Also, if you ask me to wear something specific, I probably will.

19. If I'm losing my hair, it's not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight? Why would I joke about you loosing your hair? It’s yet another proof that you’re a man & that’s sexy.

20. When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I listened to you talk about what is important to you. You can talk about golf if by golf, you mean Tiger Woods.

23. I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel you're my mother. I’ve learned when to shut up. It took a while, but I learned.

24. If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated. That’s a universal truth about men? Really?

26. I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you're married!? Take a chance. I like that.

28. It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge. When I insist on being in charge, it’s because I’m right.

29. Being respected is more important to me that being loved. Being respected is more important to me than being in a relationship.

30. I want every guy to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don't let yourself go. I’ll never let myself go. Please do the same.

32. I hate it when you minimize/ignore my compliments. It makes me what to stop giving them. I love compliments and there’s no such thing as a “small” compliment.

35. I don't need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask me to do things for you. If I can, I will.

36. If I do one thing and say something contradictory - Go with my actions, that will always tell you what's in my heart. It will always be easier for me to show you how I feel, in my own way, than telling you how I feel. In that way (that & the fact that the way to my heart is through my stomach), I'm a bit like a man.

38. I really don't want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point. I’ll never bring up my exes but the ones that mattered are still in my life which I think says a lot about the type of person I am.

40. I don't like to argue and I don't like to guess what's wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it. Telling you what you did wrong is infuriating because I know you know better.

.43. A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him. Couldn’t agree with you more.

48. If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it. If you cheat on me, I don’t want it to get to my ears or to my friends’ ears. If you’re not slick enough to be discreet then we really shouldn’t be together in the first place.

49. I don't remember everything about our relationship and that doesn't mean I don't love you. There are things you shouldn’t forget especially since I know you remember crazy obscure sports statistics.

Chris Rock on Relationships

3 comments:

Find Your Bliss Coaching said...

You.Are.HILARIOUS.

Anonymous said...

I bought a silver desk frame to put in a picture of me, as a gift to my boyfriend...I decided to print your blog message and put that instead..Thank you for that (sigh)

Ciao!!

N

Anonymous said...

Martine: I usually hate these types of "guy rules" but I must admit that those were pretty accurate except for the one about when a girl sleeps over. I like it when the girl sleeps over, once in a while.